Is it why we write?
Think about it. The worlds we create are entirely at the mercy of our every whim. If we don’t like the way a character is shaping up, or the direction a story is going, we can change it. If the ending doesn’t suit our fancy, we can mold it until it does.
Even the process of writing is an act of control, down to our very methods. Whether we’re pansters or plotters, we usually do it the same way every time. No matter how disorganized it may seem to others, we each have our specific formula for creating that works for us.
So, does that mean writers are control freaks?
For a time, maybe. But that’s only because in a short while, after we’ve finished our creations — or when we choose to walk away from them because they’re never truly finished — we’ll give up that warm, fuzzy, comforting sense of control and exchange it for the cold, distant, angsty feeling of uncertainty.
We know, ultimately, it’s coming, that moment when we are going to have to let go, watch our creation fly from the nest, and wonder if, where ever it has landed, people will see the beauty and potential in it as we do. It’s a heart-shredding feeling. It’s an exciting feeling. I like to compare it to the beach, because…beaches.
Sending your work off is like going to the beach.
Putting our work into the hands of others is like walking off the shore and into the water. The waves of emotion are strong sometimes. Especially when things actually start happening. The possibility of our dream is within reach and the waves grow stronger, switching from excitement to dread and back again. I’ve found I can’t linger in this wake for too long or it will pull me under and own me. I’m learning it’s best to feel the power of the wave for a moment, then get back on the shore, and start building another sand castle. Though, despite what I’ve learned, I still put my toes back in the water, sometimes. Thankfully, I have friends on the beach that keep waving me back onto the shore. That was a really long metaphor, but you get the point.
Whether you’re on the shore or you just dove into the water, you know all too well the process is a mix of emotions. Which is precisely why we do it. Are we control freaks? Maybe, a little, but it’s only to balance out the experience. Because, after all, we are telling our own stories, and in the end, a well-balanced plot is what it’s all about.